Sunday, January 31, 2010
This little missive is being typed up on the balcony of our room at the Hotel Del Coronado in San Diego. For those who don't know (or give a shit) this hotel is kind of famous. A lot of luminaries have shacked up here over the years, ranging from Charles Lindbergh to Madonna, blah, blah, blah. And it's expensive. Too expensive for the likes of Audrey and I. We should not be here. We are not rich. And we are neither the Prince of Wales nor Reese Witherspoon. Which brings me to the subject of this blog: panic. Let me explain.
So yesterday we met with Ted Wass in beautiful Beverly Hills, California. Ted has been working a long time in this whore's racket. He started as an actor (he was Blossom's dad and he played Danny Dallas on "Soap"), but somewhere along the line he got into directing. It was his directing services we were interested in. So, to that end, we sat down to chat with him over some eggs. Well, egg whites. This is L.A., nobody eats the WHOLE egg. Yolks are for assholes.
The short version of this is that Ted turned out to be awesome. He is funny, smart, thoughtful and fired up about the script for "This Little Piggy". We talked at length about what this show is about and how we'd like the story telling to take shape. And it was clear within about twenty minutes that Ted was the perfect guy to direct our show and that we'd be lucky to have him. Which is good, because I am pretty sure that everyone concerned (ABC Studios and NBC) had already decided this for us. Our meeting was just to make sure we didn't hate each other or something. And even if we did hate each other, I get the feeling they would have said, "work it out". That's exactly how much power Steven and I have. :)
So after shaking hands and parting ways I jumped back into my car and called Kevin Plunkett (not sure of Kevin's actual title... it's something like Senior VP of Comedy Series at ABC Studios) to let him know the good news. We chatted for a moment and Kevin, quite innocently said, "Well enjoy the rest of your weekend. I think this will be the last free one you have for a LONG time." And that, dear readers, is when my old friend PANIC showed up.
I hung up with Kevin and started thinking about all the stuff that has to be done in the next three months. PANIC! I also started thinking about the late nights, the bad food and the bleary eyed self-doubt that will slowly morph into self-loathing. PANIC! I thought about how little time I was going to be able to spend with Audrey. PANIC!!! And then I looked at the clock and started thinking about getting out of town. NOW! PANIC!!!
I got home, jammed the key into the lock, walked inside and found my beautiful wife sitting in her pajamas, hair askew and messing around on her laptop. She didn't look panicked. She looked fine. She looked like a normal person enjoying her Saturday morning. But that's because she couldn't see the oncoming shit storm like I could. So I calmed myself, sat down on the couch and started to make my case.
ME: Honey, let's go up to Santa Barbara today.
AUDREY: (NOT LOOKING AT ME) I don't want to go to Santa Barbara.
ME: (REMAINING CALM) Okay. Well I kind of wanted to get out of town today.
AUDREY: Let's go hiking.
Hiking? What the? NO! That's work. I wanted booze and expensive food. I wanted to relax. And, further more, she never suggests shit like that. What the hell was happening? This was not going well at all. PANIC!! I needed to get this shit back on track right away.
ME: (VERY, VERY CALMLY) No. I don't think I want to go hiking. How about horseback riding?
What the fuck!? Did I just suggest horseback riding? She looked at me like I'd suggested we throw ourselves into a wood chipper, and rightfully so. That is NOT getting things back on track. That's just crazy. I was more fucked up then I thought. Then I hit on it. The magic word: spa. Even the sound of it is relaxing. spaaaaa. Also, ladies love spas. This I know. And Spa, along with her sidekick Overpriced Booze, can totally kick Panic's ass. So I suggested it and before I could finish the word (a very short word, by the way) she was starting to pack. An hour and half later we were on our way to San Diego to spend too much money. Which we did. And now the blog, so there's that.
So here ends my first bout of panic on this journey. The first of many, many similar bouts I imagine. I know it's gonna get weirder before it gets better. And I'm not always going to be able to (or afford to for God's sake!) just pick up and get out of town. I'm actually gonna have to sack up and get these shows made. I want them to be great and I want them on the air. And sitting here, looking out at that ocean, I gotta say, I'm ready for it. I am. I think. I mean, more or less.
I need to go eat my feelings.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
To start with...
I've been wanting to start a little blog for sometime. I don't know why. Self aggrandizement plays a large role, I suppose. But also, it would be nice to have a place to write things and keep my thoughts. You could easily say that a spiral notebook would probably suffice, but I would direct you to the aforementioned self aggrandizement. I want people to read this. There, I said it.
I'm starting this blog at an interesting time in my life. My writing partner Steven Cragg and I have, within the last two weeks, managed to get both of our scripts picked up for pilot at networks. One, "This Little Piggy" is for NBC and the other, "How To Be A Better American" is for ABC. This is a rare-ish accomplishment. That is to say, most writers (good writers) work very hard on shows and in development and never get a pilot order at all. So getting two in the same season feels like we did something special. Like finding a hundred dollar bill on the floor of a restroom or winning the trip for two to Ojai at a school raffle. It's not often done and hardly ever by two dopes with sketchy back grounds in the biz.
Compounding the weirdness is that one of the shows, "This Little Piggy" was ordered to pilot last year at ABC. After an insane journey of talent holds, extensions, a new deal for a re-write, etc they finally said "no thanks". Months later NBC came out of nowhere and asked if the show was still available. A week later we had a deal with them. And a month later a pilot order. Though this is not unheard of, it is a little unusual. And piling on to the weirdness, out of either oversight or just sheer confusion, NBC is allowing Steven and I to run the show ourselves. Meaning we won't have a supervising producer added to the team to "guide" us through the process. It's an amazing turn of events for us. Amazingly terrifying that is.
And it got a little weirder when, on Friday, ABC called and said they wanted to produce "How To Be A Better American" as well. My balls shot back up into my body and I started rocking back and forth like Rosemary Kennedy. Because, like old Rosie, my mind was blown. This was the unthinkable thing. Getting paid to write two pilots was amazing. Getting one of them picked up, was HUGE. But the notion of both of the shows getting a shot at production, well that just seemed like folly. The kind of thing you don't even allow yourself to ponder because it's so unlikely. In short, it was amazing.
So now we are faced with the prospect of producing two pilots in three months. That means casting, pre-production, re-writing, shooting and post.... times two. I received over a hundred emails on this subject yesterday. And my iphone got hot enough to make it uncomfortable to put next to my delicate little ears. There are so many decisions to be made. And all of them need to be made NOW! It's daunting to say the least.
But the other side of this is that I am happier then I have been since the birth of my daughter. This is literally what I've been working for (and then some) my entire life. I am overjoyed to have been given this chance and I want so much for it to all work out. I feel like it will too. I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be right now. Well, not RIGHT now. RIGHT NOW I should be in bed, but anxiety awakened me at about 3am and I couldn't get back to sleep. But in terms of the scope of my life, this is an amazing time and I intend to note it.
And I'll be doing all that "noting" right here. It's my intention to keep a blog/journal of the entire process. Warts and all. So please check back often and leave some comments. I need those comments. They're the only way I know I'm alive. :)
Okay... Today's Agenda (Saturday, January 30, 2010): a meeting with the actor/director Ted Wass who we are hoping will direct "This Little Piggy". We're meeting him at 10:30 for some breakfast and delightful chit-chat. Hopefully, by the end of it all, we'll have a director locked down. Plus he was on "Soap" years ago and I loved that show! And he was Blossom's dad... so there's that.
Here we go...
Thanks for reading!
I'm starting this blog at an interesting time in my life. My writing partner Steven Cragg and I have, within the last two weeks, managed to get both of our scripts picked up for pilot at networks. One, "This Little Piggy" is for NBC and the other, "How To Be A Better American" is for ABC. This is a rare-ish accomplishment. That is to say, most writers (good writers) work very hard on shows and in development and never get a pilot order at all. So getting two in the same season feels like we did something special. Like finding a hundred dollar bill on the floor of a restroom or winning the trip for two to Ojai at a school raffle. It's not often done and hardly ever by two dopes with sketchy back grounds in the biz.
Compounding the weirdness is that one of the shows, "This Little Piggy" was ordered to pilot last year at ABC. After an insane journey of talent holds, extensions, a new deal for a re-write, etc they finally said "no thanks". Months later NBC came out of nowhere and asked if the show was still available. A week later we had a deal with them. And a month later a pilot order. Though this is not unheard of, it is a little unusual. And piling on to the weirdness, out of either oversight or just sheer confusion, NBC is allowing Steven and I to run the show ourselves. Meaning we won't have a supervising producer added to the team to "guide" us through the process. It's an amazing turn of events for us. Amazingly terrifying that is.
And it got a little weirder when, on Friday, ABC called and said they wanted to produce "How To Be A Better American" as well. My balls shot back up into my body and I started rocking back and forth like Rosemary Kennedy. Because, like old Rosie, my mind was blown. This was the unthinkable thing. Getting paid to write two pilots was amazing. Getting one of them picked up, was HUGE. But the notion of both of the shows getting a shot at production, well that just seemed like folly. The kind of thing you don't even allow yourself to ponder because it's so unlikely. In short, it was amazing.
So now we are faced with the prospect of producing two pilots in three months. That means casting, pre-production, re-writing, shooting and post.... times two. I received over a hundred emails on this subject yesterday. And my iphone got hot enough to make it uncomfortable to put next to my delicate little ears. There are so many decisions to be made. And all of them need to be made NOW! It's daunting to say the least.
But the other side of this is that I am happier then I have been since the birth of my daughter. This is literally what I've been working for (and then some) my entire life. I am overjoyed to have been given this chance and I want so much for it to all work out. I feel like it will too. I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be right now. Well, not RIGHT now. RIGHT NOW I should be in bed, but anxiety awakened me at about 3am and I couldn't get back to sleep. But in terms of the scope of my life, this is an amazing time and I intend to note it.
And I'll be doing all that "noting" right here. It's my intention to keep a blog/journal of the entire process. Warts and all. So please check back often and leave some comments. I need those comments. They're the only way I know I'm alive. :)
Okay... Today's Agenda (Saturday, January 30, 2010): a meeting with the actor/director Ted Wass who we are hoping will direct "This Little Piggy". We're meeting him at 10:30 for some breakfast and delightful chit-chat. Hopefully, by the end of it all, we'll have a director locked down. Plus he was on "Soap" years ago and I loved that show! And he was Blossom's dad... so there's that.
Here we go...
Thanks for reading!
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