This Day Off...

Okay, let's clear the air here. I haven't exactly lived up to my promise of blogging about the good, bad and the ugly of going through pilot season. I haven't even blogged about the "okay" or the "sort of attractive". I just haven't blogged at all. So, to all the lovely people who've sent me messages wondering when I might throw together a new entry, I'm sorry for the delay. I have, in fact, been busy. But I have a day off today... sort of... and a few hours ago, while I lay on the couch watching ESPN, my lovely wife sent me a gentle text: "u should write a blog today". I have to do the things she says. That's kind of our deal. So here you go suckers.

HOW TO BE A BETTER AMERICAN has been finished for some time now and we shot THIS LITTLE PIGGY exactly a week ago. After a week of editing, studio notes, audience testing and more editing we turned our first network cut of that show into NBC last night. Notes will be tonight at around 7pm and then it's right back into the fray. So while we wait for their damning judgment I am sitting at home, still in my pajamas at 2pm, and contemplating (and rejecting) all the important stuff I should probably be doing to catch up with my life. And I do have a whole bunch of ideas for blogs (casting, the post process, agents trying to poach, being the boss, etc), but I'm not gonna write any of them right now. I just can't.

Just looked out my window in time to see a forty-five year old mentally disabled man shout out with glee, "THIS IS FUN!" There is a center for adult care right next to where we live here in Culver City and we frequently see groups of folks from there, along with their care takers, strolling by. They all seem so happy, shuffling along, laughing and picking flowers from our rose bush. I gotta say, I sort of envy them. I'm not saying I'd like to be mentally disabled, but what I've been up to lately doesn't exactly seem like the actions of a man in full control of his faculties either. And picking flowers on a sunny day sure as hell beats sitting in a darkened editing room trying hard not to let your jokes get less and less funny as you trim around them. Plus I think they do a lot of singing and puzzles over there, and I like both of those things, so...

Actually, we've been doing a fair bit of puzzle solving ourselves lately. In fact, I would say that most of what you do as a writer/producer in TV is about solving puzzles. Half hour comedy actually means about twenty-one minutes of content. The other nine minutes belongs to Nike and Ford and Progressive Insurance. Our task, then, is to try and tell a satisfying story in three or four acts, with tons of laughs that, ideally, doesn't offend, polarize, alienate or enrage the many, MANY easily offended viewers sitting at home. Also included in that task is the caveat that we must avoid law suits for the network. That means we need to "clear" everything through broadcast standards and sales. And that means we must avoid product names, references to pop culture, "bad" language and anything at all that might cause some mouth breather to call a lawyer. And all of this would be a paralyzing morass if you didn't have to do everything so goddamned fast. The momentum of the entire thing is very often the only thing that saves you. There are fifteen different deadlines to consider and, no, you can't have more time.

Of course, I get it, that's the job. No one makes a secret of it or tries to advertise it as something that it's not. Doesn't matter the hurdles in your path, your job is be successful. So you get up in the morning, contemplate calling in sick, then remember that you're the boss now and that those days are over. Then you shit, shower and shave and get back into the game. But I have to admit that sometimes I wish I was a dude with a 78 IQ and an agenda that included pudding and coloring. And yeah, on my day off, I really don't want to fold laundry or go to the grocery store or return those shirts that don't fit because I'm a fat ass whose been living on peanut m&m's and red wine. Instead I want to kill zombies on the xbox and watch the same hour of Sports Center over and over again. I don't want to make any decisions today. Like, for instance, what to write about in a blog. And I really don't feel guilty about this. Here's why...

I once heard Mike Nichols talk about his process. He's known as kind of a hard working dude. When he directs a film or a play everyone knows that rehearsals can sometimes last well into the night. And working straight through weekends is not unusual. And while he acknowledged that there is some truth to this reputation, he also said there was a huge part of his process that had not been described. And that part is rest. Doing nothing. Listening to music. Watching TV. He said that these things were as integral to what he does as the long hours and intensity. Because, very often, after you've run into a brick wall on a problem, the only way to solve it is to just stop thinking about it. And then, after you've slept for twelve hours or napped in the afternoon or walked around a book store or watched three episodes of "The Pacific" in a row, the answer comes fully formed into your head like it's always been there. Suddenly the line comes or the bit of action you need or the edit that will solve your time problem. And if Mike Nichols, the creator of "The Graduate" and a hundred works of art I won't ever come close to, can justify an afternoon of watching his cat sleep, so can I. Fuck it. Why not?

I've got two pilots in the can. And there's a lot more shit to come before it's over. I'm pretty proud of all of that. I'll be a better blogger tomorrow. Until then I'm gonna peel a clementine and sit on the porch. Suck it internet!

All My Considerable Love,
b